Letter to my 16 year old self.....

A few blogs that I follow (The Path Less Taken and freeplaylife)  are writing letters to their 16 year old selves. I think this was prompted by a great book by, Joseph Galliano titled, "Dear Me". You can purchase the book, here,  and a kindle version is also available.

So I sat around yesterday thinking of what I would tell a younger me, if given the chance. Would I give witty advice? Sarcasm? A tearful warning? No matter the advice I would give to a younger me, I can tell you that, without a doubt, ALL that I have experienced in my life, has made me who I am today. Without all those bumps and bruises, I wouldn't be me. There are a few things that I would change, and much that I would not.   My life is a testament that I am not, nor have I ever been perfect, but I AM perfectly me, and THAT is worth it all.

Dear Me,

       I know this may seem quite strange, writing a letter to yourself, 22 years in the past, but we are weird, you'll get used to it. ;)  

      I want to start by telling you that YOU are beautiful. Please don't waste another moment wondering if you will ever measure up. You will, and you will by far, exceed your expectations of yourself. YOU are amazing, yes, even at sixteen. I really want you to have more self confidence, because you will learn, that THAT is the most attractive trait you could ever obtain. 

     I also want you to know that you will meet a guy in another year, he's a total douche, avoid him. You know what, on second thought, don't. Go ahead and go out with him, you'll think he hung the moon, but he really didn't. You will think he is everything, but I can tell you now, he isn't. The ONLY good thing that will come from that relationship is your ability to not take shit from anyone, ever again. It's going to be a very rough three years with him. Oh, the first year will be bliss, but after that, it goes down hill, fast. He will leave his mark on you, figuratively, and literally. It's ok. In the end, YOU WIN. 

     Spend more time with your Grandma. I don't care how you get to see her, just go. She will pass away when you are nineteen, and your heart will shatter. Talk to her, more than you do now. Tell her you love her every single day. Take photos of her, so that you can save them for later on in life. You'll need those when times get hard, trust me. Oh, and get her to teach you how to make her nearly famous cat head biscuits. Go fishing her her, again.. and then do it one more time. She's fun, snuff, chewing tobacco and all. Make it a point to make her laugh, hold her hand, for no reason. Hug her tight. 

     I can say the same thing about your Daddy. You will lose him all too soon as well. He loved you more than you could ever know, and he didn't even have to. Listen with all your heart, when he tells you stories of how much he loved your Mom. He really did love her right up until the day he leaves this world. You will seek out a man much like your Daddy, and... {spoiler alert}... you find him.
     Try to pay more attention in history class. I know it's not your favorite, but you will one day wish you had. Apply yourself in Latin, don't just skate by. Yes, you will pass the class, but even after it's all said and done, you won't retain the information.... not that it will really matter, because to this day, you haven't NEEDED to know any Latin. Get out of the library!! Do you not realize there is an entire school full of people that you would find interesting? For every day of your high school career, you spent your lunches IN THE LIBRARY! I know you enjoy reading, but there are people out there waiting to meet you! Go!!
     You have no idea what is in store for you, just know that your life will eventually be so incredibly amazing. You're going to fall in love, for real this time, and he will love you for everything you are, and all that you're not. He will be amazing, this husband of yours. You will know, when you first see him, that HE is the one. It's crazy how it will happen. You won't have to wait too long.. you'll meet him when you are 20. All I can tell you is, don't pour the pitcher of iced water on him.
      I guess the main thing you should take from this, is, love yourself first and ENJOY LIFE. It gets SO much better!

                                                                                               XOXOXO, 

                                                                                                       Me

                                                                                               
    

   
   

New York State of Mind

The fellas and I made the trek north to NewYork, to visit family, while the Hubs is away on business. The drive was long, and trying, at times. It has been a great experience, full of wonderful learning and incredible laughter, shared with some of our favorite people.  I have so many wonderful stories to share with you, but only once we are back home, and settled in. until then, enjoy your family...live, laugh, love.

Peanut Butter Balls

For nearly 15 years, I have made peanut butter balls for my oldest brother in law. I haven't been such a great "sister" these past couple times that we have visited them. We've had two children, and sometimes, I get distracted. This tin, is the same tin that I have always used, when I bring him his favorite, homemade candy. I have told him many times, if he wants more, I need the tin back.

If you would like to make these yummy treats, here is the recipe that I use. These are approximate measurements, because over the years, I have misplaced the original. I can now tell if I need to add more sugar, just from the texture.

Peanut Butter Balls

1 small jar of CHEAP (off brand) peanut butter
1 box of confectioners sugar
1 package of meltable chocolate

Empty contents of peanut butter jar into mixer.

Slowly add the powdered sugar. The mixture will get increasingly harder for the mixer to turn, so you'll need to stop, and knead by hand.

Once the mixture is crumbly, and you can form in to balls, you've added enough sugar. (just about the entire box) Set the peanut balls into the fridge to set firm. (about 30 minutes)


While waiting, get your chocolate ready for dipping.  


Roll balls in melted chocolate and place on parchment paper to cool. 


Enjoy. :) 

Honey Graham Crackers

I decided to try making my own graham crackers. I couldn't find the required "graham flour" that many recipes suggested. So I used whole wheat flour, instead. Here is my recipe.

Honey Graham Crackers

2 cups whole wheat flour 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup self rising flour 1/3 cup honey
1/2 cup butter (softened) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup milk

1) Sift together the flours
2) In a medium bowl, cream together the margarine, brown sugar and honey, until light and fluffy.
3) Stir in the sifted flours, alternating between the vanilla and milk
4) Cover dough and refrigerate overnight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Divide the chilled dough into quarters.
6) Roll the dough out, one quarter at a time. Make to desired thickness.
7) Use cookie cutters, or shape into desired shape.
8) Cover with cinnamon sugar, before baking. Place on greased cookie sheet.
9) Bake for 13-15 minutes. Remove from baking sheets and cool on wired rack.

Going Up?

As I sit here trying to stay awake until my husband gets home, my thoughts race as fast as I can blink.


Something that has been at the forefront of my mind, lately, is the rising food costs. With the drought hitting almost every corner of the U.S., farmers, both big and small, are feeling the affects. That cost has to be absorbed somewhere. Welcome to your local supermarket. For the past couple of years, I have tried, and mostly succeeded, in buying organic foods for my family of four. It's never been something that I questioned. I knew what I didn't want going in to my children's bodies. I knew what made me feel good, to feed them. So, I paid the extra for these organic products, and we made up the difference some place else, within our family budget. 


It's getting a little harder to do that. 


I'm feeling guilty. 


I know that I'm not always going to be able to purchase pastured beef, or free range chicken eggs. I know that the milk I love to give to my children, is going to get more expensive. The current price, for a gallon of organic milk, is roughly $8. We consume two gallons a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Milk is one area I refuse to make a compromise. I've read to much, watched too many videos, and did my own amount of research on commercial milk. 


It's not pretty. 


So, with these economic times, forcing us to tighten our belts, I'm torn. I will continue to purchase organic milk. I can live without organic coffee, I suppose. I prefer to purchase our meat from Publix now. At least I know that they refuse using "pink slime", fillers, and dye. I talked to the butcher, and he said they take pride in their meat, and that quality is important to them. He told me they PROMISE to never use any of those items, in their meat department. That makes me feel a tad bit better, at least I know I"m not feeding my children slime, when we make hamburgers. As far as there being hormones and such in there, he said that is up to the supplier. Well... we all know how that works. :sigh:


Profit. Fatten them up fast, sell them quick. Profit.


I will continue to make as much as I can, from scratch. At least that way I know what my family is eating. I just know that it's not always going to be sugar in the raw, or organic, stone ground flour.

But I just won't compromise on the milk.

Ever.

How are you dealing with the rising grocery costs?

Frustrated

It's so hard to be a police officer, or even a police family, this day in time. No matter where you live, you have to deal with the tough criticism that comes from those that are not of like mind. I'm sure it is that way, with anything in life. I just feel, that lately, there are so many that have more negative things to say about police officers, in general. If they take on more training, they are readying against the American people. If they take on a hobby, with other police officers, they are becoming militarized. They can't win. I don't see this with other professions. I have read blogs, comments to news paper articles, and listened to this person or that one, say negative things about my husband, his boss, and their friends. It's hard. 


I know that my husband is out there doing his job, the best way he was trained. He is not dealing with kids that are not sharing their toys. He is dealing with criminals. People that have no respect for themselves, and much less for those in uniform. While some may thank him for the job that he (and his co workers) are doing, that is not the majority. He has been spat at, fought, called horrible names. He is treated with disrespect, on a daily basis. All because of the job he felt a strong calling to do. He is passionate about protecting the laws of the county and our state. He has taken an oath, to serve and protect. Serve and protect every citizen. Not just the good ones, he is obligated to serve, and protect, even those that call him a bastard, an asshole, and oh so much worse. He is not allowed to say anything back, or he will be out of line. He is to stand there, and take whatever verbal abuse the "civilian" has to give.  He is to serve and protect those that choose to strike him. If he defends himself, he is accused of abusing his position. If he does nothing, he is a coward. 


My husbands dedication to his job is impressive. There are times that I do not always understand. There are times... many times... that I wish he were a banker, or a garbage man, anything, just not a police officer. It is not because I am afraid, it is because I am selfish, and I want more time with him. 

The Mustache

For the past bit of time, the guys at work have been teasing my sweet Hubs about his perfectly groomed mustache. They have made videos wearing fake ones, given him tshirts with a mustache on the front, and even bumper stickers shaped like a mustache. Well, the boys and I decided it would be fun to tease him at home. So this its the result of that....but the best is yet to come....stay tuned.