Time Changes You and Even Me

I ran into an old friend, recently. I've talked to them, listened to them talk, and just observed, from my safe and comfortable distance. While twenty years have passed, since we have last talked, I have come to realize many things.

Time changes you. Time changed me. But the more things have changed, the more they have stayed the same.

I've grown up. Or have I? I'm beginning to question exactly what that statement means. Do we grow up? Or do we simply leave behind our childish ways because we now have something positive to live for? I have a family... a real life that I am held accountable for. But did I grow up?

You become what you are surrounded by. By this I mean, that... if I were around less intelligent people, then perhaps I wouldn't be as interested in my world, or even teaching about that same world, to my children. I would possibly be trapped by my own lack of intelligence, and not know any different, simply because I appear to be the smartest one in the room.

I have it good. I am so very thankful for the life that my husband and I have created for ourselves. I am thankful that I have a place to call home, and know that HOME is the most comfortable place to be. It's safe. It's reliable. It's warm. Our home is filled with love, laughter, and even sometimes, screaming and carrying on. We live. We love. We laugh. We enjoy one another, completely, even on the bad days.

So I'm wondering why I feel the need to stay connected to this long lost friend. Is it that I am trying to hold on to *my* youth? Is there something, unspoken, that I wish I could have changed? Or is it, that I am a saver, and I want to now save this person... possibly from themselves?

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Gardening….. for me, it’s soul work. There are few things better, to me, than working in the garden. The scents, textures, colors, all of it, so incredibly soothing for who I am, and who I hope to become. Take a walk with me, through my gardens… you won’t be disappointed.

The photos below show brightly colored tomato blossoms. I’m looking forward to the first tomato sandwich of the season.


Next, is fennel. I love how the sprouts of new leaves resemble a caterpillar from a distance. Fennel, besides its culinary uses, is also great for medicinal purposes.
 
Passion flower, or as it’s known in the south, “may pops”, are a delight to grow. Technically a weed, it is the only flower that the gulf fritillary caterpillar will dine on. For this reason, I grow them. Of course the resulting flower is unusual, and fun to photograph. I love the tendrils.

                  

This onion was planted last summer. I actually planted many, in hopes of a large harvest. All of the onions perished in the heat. This one, however, survived, the hot summer, and our unusually cold winter. I won’t harvest this onion, as I affectionately call it, “my blooming onion”.


Spinach, not only did Popeye enjoy the wonderful vegetable that is rich in antioxidants, but we enjoy it too. My nine year old son and I absolutely love spinach smoothies. Nothing better on a sweltering hot summer day.
 

Sage, also known as salvia, has a wonderful feathery texture. I use more of it around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, in cooking, however I also like to burn sage. While I don’t go to the extents listed in the link, I do enjoy the fragrance.


and lastly, Lavender. This is quite possibly one of my all time favorite fragrances. Lavender has many medicinal uses. I like to collect the tiny buds, and let them dry, you can then add them to tea mixes, your bath, even make soaps, if you so desire. I enjoy watching the bumble bees, in the summer, work their pollenating magic.
 

There you have it… a brief glimpse into where I enjoy spending whatever pockets of spare time I can find. I have many other plantings, in our various gardens, but these are some of my favorites.

Until next time………

Love is.....

Love... such a powerful word. It can wrap its arms around you and never let go. It can warm you, from the inside out. Love can strangle you. It can build you up, and it can also tear you down. Love.

I've been very fortunate to love a man that loves *me* more than words can say. He has been by my side for almost 17 years. Yes, we have had more than our fair share of troubled times. We've had more than I can measure, of great and wonderful times. We have lived, loved, and learned, together. There are times we are inseparable, spiritually, emotionally, and even intellectually. There are also times that we need our own space. When these times present themselves, we recognize them and embrace them. We let one another know, that even tho we need our space, we will offer that helping hand, when it is needed.  We are a team. We belong. We will endure. Together. No matter what.

I have been blessed with the love of two very precious boys. My own children. I knew I loved them both, before I even met them. From the moment that *I* knew I was pregnant, I was in love. To know the love of a child is immeasurable. A child, in all his innocence, loves totally, completely, unconditionally. In my sons' eyes, I am the greatest Mommie that ever lived. There is nothing I can not do. There is no question that I do not know the answer. There is nothing too complicated, too involved, too puzzling, there simply is nothing, that I can not do. In their eyes.  That's an amazing love, amazing indeed.

I am also very lucky to know the love of a very kind and caring mother. I do not ever remember a time that my mother was not there, as an adult. I can call my Mom at almost any hour of the day, and she will answer. She will listen to me when I need to vent about my day. She will do her best, to calm me, when the stresses of everyday life seem to be more than I can bare. She laughs with me and cries with me. We celebrate birthdays together, and the latest harvest from our home grown gardens. On days when I feel that I am a complete and total failure, she offers me the most encouraging words, that reassure me she is on my side. She is my Mom, and what's more important than that, she is my friend.

So, love... as complex as it can be, it is all encompassing. Love is magical, when it is brand new. Love is necessary. Love is knowing. Love is needing. Love is not to be taken for granted.

Love is....... (you fill in the blank)

**the above photo taken by me, please do not use with out my consent**

Everything and Nothing At All

You know... I sit here and start blogging, then erase everything because it's not witty enough, or because the words don't seem to flow the way I had anticipated them to. Blogging is hard work. So many thoughts run through my grey matter, much faster than I can eloquently put them into words.

I was going to blog about the terribly crappy day I have had... then decided I didn't want to bring you down too. For me, reading someones blog should be inspiring, not depleting.  Then, I was going to discuss friends... or those that would like to claim you as a friend, perhaps merely for numbers. Then, I thought.. hmmm.. maybe I could just rant about the things that bother me about people... I decided against all of that. Perhaps I just didn't want to bring you down, or perhaps I am fearful of who just might be reading. Either way, it happens to be MY blog, and I can steer it in any direction that I choose, right?

Do you ever get so bogged down with things you want to do, that you have a terrible time choosing what you will actually do? I get that way a lot, I think I just put too much on my plate, seemingly forgetting that there are only 24 hours in any given day, and that I MUST sleep for at least 6 of them.

I want to take my children to the local Children's Museum, and the zoo this week, as well as meet friends for the ever elusive "socializing".  We were to go to a large Valentines Party with a different set of homeschool friends, but the Hubs and I decided that we shouldn't take the chance of getting sick again. Something about being sick for an entire month can scare that right in to you.

I'm so ready for spring. I'm ready to put my hands in the earth, and feel the coolness of the nutrient rich soil. I'm ready to breathe in nature, and breathe out stress. I'm ready for my ideas, and my children to blossom with the growing gardens. I am so ready to be done with the grey dullness that is winter. At least this week is a gorgeous one. I'm thankful for that. We shall get out in nature, and explore the majestic wonders that Mother Nature provides, all seasons of the year.

So, instead of stressing over what I should write, I decided to just let the thoughts flow... and this is the result.

**above photo taken by me, please do not use without my consent.

The bathtub... that's the place where I get my best thinking accomplished. It's quiet, the boys leave me in peace, for the most part... I can make phone calls to friends that I've been meaning to call for far too long. I can listen to the radio, and even read a book or magazine. I can enjoy a glass of wine, a glass of ice water, or even iced tea... I can listen, and I can think.

I once decided I just didn't have room in my heart to listen to the news, as it was all so devastating, and there was nothing positive IN the news, so why bother bringing myself down.. so I swore off the news for about a year.  As of late, I have started listening to the news again.. its a nice hour in the mornings, that I get to share with my Hubs. We watch CNN, drink our coffee, and discuss the events in the news. We mostly see eye to eye, but occasionally there is something we butt horns over.

Today, I see in the news... "they" have decided that there is a 13th zodiac sign. So for 2000 years, there have been 12 signs of the zodiac... suddenly, "they" reintroduce Ophiuchus, and explain to us, that its because of the earths rotation. I'm not sure about you, but I am what I am, and that's what I will always be.... Taurus, the bull.. and I live up to every single trait of that zodiac sign. If they want to change things up, how about eliminate Monday.. or perhaps make it part of the weekend,.. or even make it so that spring and autumn last about a month longer.. that would be real progress.. not this changing of the stars.. First it was Pluto, now this.. seriously folks.. think about it.

Another thing I have been thinking about, is being politically correct. No, I don't mean I have thought about ME being politically correct, because, well, I'm not. I try to be polite, but that's a far cry from being politically correct. As I have said, I am what I am.. and I call it like I see it.. whether or not I choose to tell YOU how I see it, at that time, is a different story.. that's being polite.  Take this latest blow to American History, for instance. The fact that "they" are rewriting Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, simply because it contains the "N" word over 200 times. I think if "they" are going to do that, then perhaps they should just wash out all the ugly parts of our history.. lets rewrite everything, so that our world is a prettier color. Give me a freakin' break!!

Of course, I don't ALWAYS think about what goes on in the news. I also think about what I need to do. What I WANT to do. Then, as if by some strange twist of fate, or perhaps the earth's rotation, reality hits me, and then its time to get out of the tub.




**above photo taken by me, please do not use with out my consent.